Letters to Sookie
by JJ Louise
Summary: Eric gives Sookie a journal.  It's filled with letters he wrote to her while they were apart.  A "Dead Decisions" side story, that takes place 6 months later.  Rated M.
1. My Beloved

**Hello everyone!**

**Well, for those of you who read my story "Dead Decisions", here's the first chapter in my side story "Letters to Sookie - Eric's Journal".**

**It takes place post "Dead Decisions", obviously.**

**This is what I have so far. Will be working on it more this week, except for Friday and Saturday, cause it's Christmas! Will be updating either later this week or next Sunday, depending on how much I get down. But I will post until it's done. I hate when I get into a story, and it has no ending.**

**I will some of my fav's would update. :(**

**Anywho, Charlaine Harris owns the characters and whatnot, I'm just borrowing.**

**Speaking of CH, see my authors note at the end. ;)**

**Snoogans and Snoochie Boochies!  
**

* * *

"My wife, what are you doing?" Eric asked as he walked into our bedroom. I was busy getting myself settled into bed with a cup of coffee, some tissues, and the journal he had given me on our wedding night.

"I was thinking, maybe it was time I read this." I said as I pulled the covers up to my waist, and held up the journal. Eric's journal.

Eric cocked an eyebrow, and then walked to his side of the bed, and crawled under the covers with me. He rested his back against the headboard, and then held out his arm so that I could snuggle up next to him.

"Then I will sit with you while you read. Is that alright with you?" he asked. He was a little nervous. I could feel it through our bond. I sent a little love his way, and hoped it would help.

"Its fine. That way I can ask you questions. Do you mind if I read to myself though?"

"Nope."

"Okay." I said, and leaned up to kiss his neck, and then I snuggled up against him, took a deep breath, and opened to the first page.

* * *

_October 13__th__ 2011_

_My Beloved,_

_I am tormented. My soul, my heart, my body longs to be near yours, but I know that right now, it cannot be. I went to your home this evening. I saw you in your room. You had on that hideous sweatshirt you made me wear when I was cursed. I wanted to be that sweatshirt, embracing you. Giving you some sort of comfort… but this path for us is better right now. I am taking you out of harms way the best way that I know how. By removing myself from your life. _

_I won't be back for some time. There is trouble on the horizon. Hierarchy are speaking of takeovers and battles for our state. I must stay on guard in the coming months. Once this has passed, and Felipe is secure in his position as King of Louisiana, I will come for you, do not doubt that. You will be my bonded, my wife; once more._

_Until then._

_October 21__st__ 2011_

_My Beloved,_

_There was more talk this evening of takeover. Felipe is working to secure his hold on his kingdoms. There is much turmoil in Nevada over the recent events. He is being doubted by his followers, and as a sign of his strength, will be keeping Victor alive and made an example of for those who seek to overthrow him._

_I would prefer Victor met his final death. _

_I would prefer to be the one driving the stake into his dead heart._

_I would prefer to be in bed with you at this moment. Kissing your body… making love to you like we did our last night._

_These thoughts are dangerous. I find that it's becoming more difficult to stay away from you. My hearts desire._

_Pam says my feelings will fade with time. That it will become easier each day to be away from you. I think she is lying to soothe me. Pam says I have not been very "nice" these past two weeks. I don't give a shit about that. I am separated from you, my Lover. I cannot be "nice"._

_Frankly, I just don't give a damn.

* * *

_

I laughed a little through the tears that were at a steady stream down my cheeks. "Did you watch Gone With the Wind?" I asked.

Eric smiled. "Yes, I watched it."

"And?" I asked, curious as to what he thought of it.

"It was enjoyable. I laughed when Rhett carried Scarlette upstairs after Ashley's birthday party. I thought of when I carried you into Russell's home after you were staked. You referenced that scene then, correct?"

I had to think back. I had been on some heavy duty pain killers then. Yes, I remembered. I had said that, and that was the scene I was thinking of. I smiled up at him, and he used his thumb to wipe away a tear, and then kissed my cheek. I went back to reading.

* * *

_October 31__st__, 2011_

_My Beloved,_

_It is Halloween. Despite the turmoil in the kingdom of Louisiana, we still threw our annual Halloween party at the bar. Felipe is looking to keep things as normal as possible in this turbulent time. For me, it was no different than any other night these past few weeks. Empty and dull. Pam insisted that I "enthrall the vermin" at some point during the evening, so I took my place in my throne on stage. As I sat there, I thought of the first time you came into my bar. I wanted you then. I wanted to kill Compton and claim you as mine. I vowed to make you mine. I could not have imagined that I would also be yours._

_I sent Pam to check on you twice this week. She stayed in the woods outside your home. I envy her for being able to see you._

_It isn't safe for me to visit your woods any longer. I fear that soon, it will no longer be safe for Pam. _

_I have a meeting with Felipe tomorrow evening. I think he means to make me his lieutenant. I will take Victors place in watching over Louisiana. It is not something I want, however I fear that it is necessary._

_I lay in my bed as I write this evening. My sheets still smell of you. I would lay here all night and think of you, and smell your scent in my home if I could. It comforts me._

_November 22__nd__, 2011_

_My Beloved,_

_I did not intend to have nearly a month past since my last note to you. The situation has gotten worse for Felipe and our state. As I suspected, Felipe has placed me as lieutenant. Pam has unofficially become Sheriff of Area 5. _

_Mississippi sent assassins last week. They underestimated my ability with a sword. _

_It reassures me in my decision to leave your life. I could not bare losing you permanently._

_I fear that my return to you will take longer than I had expected. But it will happen. You will be mine once more. _

_Dawn is approaching, and my eyes grow heavy. I beg the Gods to dream of you while I sleep._

_December 10__th__, 2011_

_My Beloved,_

_Pam saw you this evening. She tells me you are doing well, but I can sense she is not being completely truthful with me. She tried to hide it, but she should know better. It pains me to think you are unwell because of me._

_I want to tell you the truth. I want to go to you now, to comfort you and tell you that I love you, tell you that it was a lie. Everything I said._

_I cannot stop reliving that evening in my mind. As I lied to you, and watched your heart break, I wanted to take it all back instantly. I prayed that you understood what I was doing. I pray that you did not mean the things you said. _

_No, I know you did not mean them. You merely reacted to me. We're you pretending as well Lover? I think perhaps you may have been. Ah Sookie, my little bull-shitter. But then, how could you have known? No, you did not know what I was doing. I can hope that you did, but I know you could not have known my plan. I hope that you can forgive me for it some day. _

_December 25__th__, 2011_

_My Beloved,_

_I came to visit you this evening. You put up a Christmas tree. I saw you sitting by the fire, and you were crying. I had to leave. I don't think that I will be able to return for some time. Partly because it is getting harder and harder to stay away from you when I do, and partly because there is more danger coming. I will visit you one last time, because I don't want to risk having my last visit to you being one where you are crying. I don't want that to be the last time that I see you if I meet the final death in the days to come._

_If fighting comes before I am able to write to you again, and I meet my final death, know that I love you._

_Forever._

_February 14__th__, 2012_

_My Beloved,_

_It has been some time since I have written to you. Much has happened. But one thing has stayed the same… my love for you._

_I miss you more than ever right now. I am incapacitated at the moment. I can do nothing but lay here and think of you. I often think of our time together at my home when we returned from Nevada. That was an amazing week. Staying in bed with you all night and all day. I think it was a sign of my love that we could lay there an entire week, and I did not have to have sex with you, don't you think? You once accused me of trying to "get in your pants". I think we both now know that it is more than that._

_But I did want to have sex with you anyway._

_I always want to have sex with you._

_I'm even thinking about it right now, which is dangerous, since you are not here to assist me with what results when I think of you._

_I must go now, Pam is standing in my doorway. She is going to help me shower. It will definatly not be as enjoyable as our first shower, and I must be careful not to think of it while she is helping me, or she will get the wrong idea. Although it would be quite comical._

_I love you.

* * *

_

"Why were you incapacitated?" I asked. He hadn't elaborated in his letter.

"I believe the next entry goes into detail on it." he said, and gave me a little squeeze. I was still nestled against him. He was getting nervous again. More so than when I started to read. I sent a little more love his way, but this time, it didn't seem to be helping.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Why did you get so nervous all of the sudden?"

"I told you before there would be things in there that would be tough for you to read. This next letter I think will be the first of those." he said, and shifted a little so that he was on his side facing me, but still had me in his arm. "You know though, that I love you, and that I loved you then, right?"

Now I was getting nervous. "Yes. I know." I said sweetly to him, and placed a hand on his cheek. "I don't doubt that at all. You should be able to tell that." I said, referring to our bond. He could tell how I was feeling, just as I could tell how he was feeling. He seemed to be calming a little. I gave him a kiss on the lips, and lingered for a moment before I went back to reading.

* * *

_February 21__st__, 2012_

_My Beloved,_

_I want to start this letter by telling you that I love you. Never doubt that. Ever._

_I know Pam visited you last night. I know that you are aware that I have been injured. It is true, that this has been the worst I have been injured in some centuries. There was an attack from Oklahoma. I fought bravely, and with Pam at my side, along with the other Sheriff's from Louisiana, we were victorious, but not without some loss. We are down a Sheriff, and a replacement is being chosen._

_I did not escape the battle without injury. I am missing a leg. It was severed just below the knee. The perpetrator met to swift a death at the hands of Pam. It is growing back, however the process is slow and painful. Pam has been feeding me to help the process, but when she cannot, I have had to take blood from others. Other humans._

_I don't know what to say to you about this. I only hope that you understand that it was a necessity. I can assure you however that I am only feeding. There is no sex with the donors to my recovery._

_If True Blood could be enough to help me through this process, do not doubt that I would be drinking that instead._

_This is a reality that I am finding hard to tell you. It's something that I must do. I would prefer to take only from you my Sookie, but since I cannot, I must do what I need to do in order to survive, and see you again._

_Never doubt that I love you.

* * *

_

I took myself out of Eric's arm, and set the journal down. I could feel Eric's emotions start to go all over the place. I pulled back the covers on the bed, exposing his leg, and I started to examine it.

"What are you doing?" he asked. It sounded puzzled, nervous, and amused all at the same time.

"I'm looking for a scar." I said.

"You don't believe that it was cut off?" he asked, all puzzle in his voice that time.

"No, I believe you. I just wanted to see it." I said, turning his leg a little. I couldn't see a thing. It was as if it had never happened. I scrunched my face.

Eric laughed a little. "There is no scar. But look," he said, and pulled the covers completely off both legs, "this one is lighter than the other. Do you see it?" he asked. I noticed it when he pointed it out. I was surprised I had never noticed it before. "It's a very subtle difference, but it's there. I don't think you would have noticed if I did not point it out to you. I can hardly tell the difference anymore." he said, and pulled the covers back over his legs, and I climbed back under them with him, and snuggled back against him.

"I'm not upset, by the way." I said to him once I was back in place.

"No?" he asked.

"No. In fact, I'm okay with it. I figured at some point you would drink from someone else. It's a reality that I'm aware of. We weren't seeing each other. I'm honestly just glad that you're still here." I said, and I could feel a huge weight being lifted from Eric.

He kissed me then. It was hard and urgent. I finally got a chance to come up for some air. "What's got into you?" I asked with a little giggle.

"You." he said with a bit of a growl, and with that he decided that it was time to take a little break from reading. My nightgown went flying, and so did his boxer shorts. I showered my body in kisses before he stopped at my center, and lingered there until I was screaming his name, and then he came back to meet my lips. He positioned himself at my entrance, and before he entered, he whispered in to my ear.

"My Lover." he said, and pushed in. I lifted my hips to meet him the rest of the way. "My Beloved." he said as he thrust again. "My Wife." he said as he thrust once more. There was a flood of love and lust and passion coming from him through our bond. It was bringing me to the edge very quickly.

I didn't think it was possible, but somehow sex had gotten better over the last six months. The stronger our bond got, the better sex was becoming. It was mind blowing to begin with, but this was… well, I just didn't know how to describe it.

Eric was hovering over me, thrusting into me at a steady pace. I was on the edge again, and I wanted to take Eric over with me. I lifted my head to his neck, and kissed and licked before I pulled him back down to me. I didn't have to be asked, and I didn't have to ask him anymore before I bit. He loved it when I bit him. I didn't do it often because I wanted to keep it like a treat, but this was for sure one of those times where he deserved a treat. I bit, and sent Eric over the edge, which took me along with him.

He collapsed on top of me, and I hugged him close. "That was…" I started, but lost my words. Eric finished them for me.

"Amazing. It's always amazing with you, my wife." he said, and kissed me before he moved off me, and to my side. He liked calling me his wife now.

Once we were both settled back to how we had been when I started reading, I picked up the journal again, and started where I had left off.

* * *

**Soooo... did everyone hear the good news this morning?**

**Charlaine Harris posted that she will be posting the first chapter of DEAD RECKONING on her website... TOMORROW!**

**www(dot)charlaineharris(dot)com**

**I don't know about all of you, but I'm WICKED tempted to call out sick to work with a case of "SVM" tomorrow. Especially since I'm in Southern CA, and we are being POUNDED with rain (well, in So. Cal, it's rare, so a few days of rain IS unusual, haha!) and all's I really wanna do anyways is curl up on the couch with a good book (probably Dead to the World), and sip some hot chocolate while I read, and listen to the rain fall.  
**


	2. For Eternity

**Hello again!**

**Got another installment for you this evening. I'm finding that this is MUCH harder to write than I anticipated. It's slow going, but I'm working on it every night to try to keep posts on a semi-regular basis at least.**

**Hope everyone is enjoying. Small A/N down at the end here.**

**Charlaine Harris owns the characters and whatnot.**

**Snoogans and Snoochie Boochies!  
**

_

* * *

March 17th__, 2012_

_My Beloved_

_I long to be near you as much as I did the night I left. As you once said to me "absence makes the heart grow fonder" I find this is truly the case. Pam tells me that I need to stop thinking about you, but I cannot. I will not._

_I thought of you and I this evening. I thought of a future where we would live the rest of your life together. And afterward, I would love and mourn you for the rest of mine. I know you doubt that I would love you even as you age. I don't see how you would ever be anything but beautiful, southern belle, Sookie Stackhouse, to me. Whether you are thirty years old, or ninety, you will still be you, the woman that I love. The parts of you that I love will never change, and thus, I know that I will love you forever._

_Compton came to see me a few days ago. He tells me that him and Judith will be leaving the country in a week or so. Headed to South America. Good riddance. Fucking Compton. He had the balls to tell me he had spoken with you. Even after all this time, and everything that has transpired, he still feels the need to play this game. Trying to one-up me by telling me he's seen and spoken with you. Like I give a fuck._

_My apologies dear one. I did not mean to lose myself there. Between you and me, I was actually a bit jealous of Compton for a moment. He was able to see and speak with you. I thought about bringing you here with me, while I heal, however it seems that any human female I have contact with at the moment who might be confused for you is not having such an easy time of it. Pam tells me two girls that I have drank from that bare a resemblance to you have gone missing._

_But I have decided, as soon as I am able to walk, I will come to see you. It has been nearly three months since my last visit to your home. It has been three months to long.

* * *

_

_June 7__th__, 2010_

_My Beloved_

_I don't know where to start. Some time as passed since my last entry. I would write you every evening if it was possible._

_I have been moved to New Orleans for the time being. My recovery will finish here in Sophie-Anne's old home. I am under heavy guard. Felipe has settled things in Nevada, and has come to Louisiana, with backup. There have been several attacks against his throne, but he has held strong. I anticipate that now that Felipe his here, things will settle within the next few months, and I will be with you once more._

_I have continued to feed to aid in my recovery. Pam is still supplying me what she can, and when she cannot, I feed from humans. It is not as enjoyable as it used to be. I find that I think of you while feeding. There blood is not as sweet. They don't smell as sweet. They don't sound as sweet. Their skin does not feel as sweet. _

_None compare to you, my love.

* * *

_

_August 1__st__, 2012_

_My Beloved_

_I have returned to Shreveport. My leg has healed. I come to see you tomorrow evening._

_I spent this evening at the bar. I mostly stayed in my office and worked on business needs that had started to fall behind in mine and Pam's absence. _

_I found myself staring at the couch in my office. I thought of the time you had been attacked by the maenad, and you ended up on that couch. _

_I think when we are together, we should make a new memory on that couch. A better one…_

_That is another thing, my love. I want you. I need you. Badly. I long to be with you, in your bed, in my bed, on my couch, on your couch. Anywhere. I will not be with another. If you are not with another, I will not be with another. I will wait for you. It will be difficult. It is difficult. But I will not falter._

_I will not falter.

* * *

_

"I'm sorry." I said.

"For what my love?" Eric asked, kissing my forehead.

I started to cry. "I thought you were never coming back. I really thought we were through. I mean, I don't think I have to tell you this, you know about Sam, right?"

Eric sighed. "I know about the shifter, yes." he said, and then he pinned me to the bed, and rested his weight on top of me. I loved when he did that. I felt safe and secure. "But you don't need to be sorry. It's in the past first of all. Second, we were not together. The danger of takeover had passed, and I had not returned to you. I didn't expect you to wait for me the rest of your life."

"But I knew. I knew you were lying to me, remember? I hea…" I started to say, but Eric cut me off with a kiss.

"No no my wife, we don't speak about that, remember?" he said, and smiled at me. He seemed to be thinking for a moment. "Yes, I know you were fully aware of my plans. But you also thought I would come back to you once the threat was over, and I didn't. Anything that happened in that time, well, it happened. And we cannot change it." He kissed me again. "Do you regret the shifter?"

I thought about it for a moment. "Yes and no. I do because I wasted time there, when I should have just sucked it up, and gone to you. But I don't, because it allowed me to see that I wanted you."

"Good. I'm glad he served some purpose." Eric said, and planted another kiss on me.

"I love you, my husband." I said. He loved it when I called him that. He planted a big wet sloppy one on my neck, and then rolled off me. I giggled as I wiped his slobber off me. He thought he was so funny when he did that. It was a new thing he picked up after watching something on television, where a couple did that to each other. He had thought it was funny, and knows that I don't think so, so he does it anyways. I snuggled back into him, and continued reading.

* * *

_September 2__nd__, 2012_

_My Beloved_

_It has been almost a year since we parted. I came to visit you last night. You were sleeping. I started out in the woods outside your home. However temptation got the best of me, and I spent part of the evening in your room. I watched you sleep._

_I couldn't stop there. I knelt on the floor next to your bed. I smelled your scent. I felt your body heat. I heard you breathing, your heart beating. _

_You were dreaming while I knelt there. You said my name. It was glorious to hear those words on your lips once more. My memory does not do you justice my love._

_I took a chance and reached out to touch you. I grazed your cheek, your lips, with my fingers, and then you stirred, but did not wake. I could not be in that room another moment. I would ruin everything I have worked so hard to achieve. I wanted to take you then. Wake you with a kiss. Take you in my arms._

_Never let you go.

* * *

_

_October 17__th__, 2012_

_My Beloved_

_It pains me to write this letter to you._

_It appears that Felipe has established his hold on Louisiana once more, and has returned to Nevada. I have requested to step down as his Lieutenant, and he has granted me this request. I am back to Sheriff of Area Five. The threat of takeover appears to be gone… for now._

_But I have come to a decision. A decision that pains me to even think of, let alone write to you._

_I will not be coming back to you._

_There will always be a threat to us my dear one. There will always be danger. I will always be dangerous for you. I will not put you in danger. I will not be the cause of your death. I could not bear that. Knowing you are alive and well because I am absent from your life is less painful than the thought of you being gone because I was present your life._

_I don't know that I can ever rid myself of this longing for you. Of this love for you. But perhaps I do not want it to go away. I want to love you, even if I cannot be with you. This feeling is unlike one I have experienced before, and it torments me but envelopes me in a warmth at the same time. It is confusing but familiar because it feels like you._

_I will always love you Sookie Stackhouse. For eternity.

* * *

_

"You did the one thing Bill never seemed willing to do." I said, then kissed Eric on the neck.

"Leaving you?" he said, a red tear running down his cheek. He was reading along with me silently to himself. I could feel the torment running through our bond as we read.

"I said in the past that being around both of you nearly got me killed on several accounts. Bill always just seemed to shuck it off, and sometimes so did you. But I'm not upset that you did it here. I'm not happy about it. You were being Mr. High-Handed again, but I understand. Do you regret that decision?" I asked.

"Yes and no." he said, and smiled at me. "I don't regret it in that I feel it was the right decision at the time. I regret it now because it took time away from being with you. But in the end, it allowed us to be able to be open and honest with each other in a way we had not been before."

I shook my head in acknowledgment. "I think if you had come back to me then, we may not have talked like we did in Vegas."

"I agree." he said and kissed me on the top of my head. "Why were you so upset to see me when we arrived in Vegas? Why did you turn me away?"

"I was scared. I wanted to leap in your arms the moment I saw you, but I was worried you didn't want me anymore. When you didn't come back after things had been settled in Louisiana, I figured you had just moved on. It was easier on me if I was rude, because the alternative was falling to pieces."

"I don't think you will ever know the restraint it took not to take you in the plane when we were first arriving in Nevada."

"Oh, believe me, I know." I said, and pinched his side. He scooted away, and I pouted at his absence at my side.

* * *

**Okay, so who read the first chapter of DEAD RECKONING?**

**O**

**M**

**G**

**Loves it!**

**Is it May yet?  
**


	3. The Shifter Pt 1

**Hello everyone!**

**More for this evening.**

**Rated M for LANGUAGE  
**

**Charlaine Harris owns the characters and whatnot.**

**Snoogans and Snoochie Boochies!  
**

_

* * *

November 27th__, 2012_

_My Beloved_

_Pam visited you this evening. She tells me that you said you send your regards. Fucking "regards". But I don't know that I deserve more. You know the danger has past. Are you wondering why I have not come back to you? Is this some ploy to bring me to you? Or are you driving me away? Or do you no longer love me?_

_I am troubled by your message. _

_I wish to respond, but I know that it is for the best that I don't. _

_My Regards

* * *

_

"Drama queen." I said, and smiled up at Eric. He stuck his tongue out at me.

* * *

_December 25__th__, 2012_

_Sookie_

_I came to see you this evening. I came to see you for Christmas. You wouldn't have known I was there, but I would have been. I didn't want you to be alone on this holiday. I understand some humans hold it in high regard as a time for joy and love and peace and to be with one's family._

_WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU WITH THE SHIFTER_

_I would rip him limb from limb for touching you._

_I need to get you out of my head. I don't want you there any longer.

* * *

_

_February 14__th__, 2013_

_Sookie_

_I followed you tonight. I did not intend to spend my evening this way. I found myself at your home early in the evening. I watched you dressing. You put on a beautiful blue dress. _

_And then the fucking shifter picked you up._

_I did not enjoy seeing him kiss you._

_I did not enjoy seeing you kiss him back._

_He took you on a date. I found myself longing to be in his place. You have stirred feelings in me that I would not think possible._

_I was jealous of that fucking shifter. I wanted to be him. I wanted to have you on my arm, take you to a nice place to eat. Take you to a movie. Go for a walk with you clutched to my side._

_I hate this.

* * *

_

"I wished it was you too. Every time. Any time I was with Sam, in any capacity, I wished it was you." I said, and took Eric's hand, and began to run my finger over his wedding band.

"You did?" he asked. The arrogance was written all over his face, and running steadily through the bond.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes. I feel bad in a way though, for Sam. I led him on. I knew it wasn't going to work. I had hoped at one time that it would, but my heart just wasn't in it. We were doomed from the get-go."

"He should have known better. It's his own fault."

"How?"

"Well, just look at me." he said, and I about fell to pieces in laughter.

"I suppose that's true too." I said once I had regained my composure. I was silent then for a moment. "I'm sorry you had to see that though. I don't know how I would feel if I was in your position. You certainly handled it better than I thought you would have though, I'll give you that."

"I brought it on myself. I couldn't stay away. Pam told me you were with him. I thought seeing you with someone else would help diminish my feelings."

"But it didn't work?" I asked and looked up at him. He leaned down and kissed me.

"No. If anything, it made them stronger."

I picked back up the journal, and went back to the page I had left off on, but Eric pushed the journal down before I could start reading again. "Wait." he said, and turned to on his side to face me. "This next part. It's not pleasant." he said, and I could feel a little worry flowing through the bond from him now.

"As in, read at my own risk?" I asked.

"As in, you dated someone else… and so did I."

"And you wrote about it to me?" I said, and raised an eyebrow at him. I wasn't upset, just a little confused. Who does that?

"I wanted to be honest with you. I have never let anyone in the way I have let you in. This is part of it. Part of me."

I shook my head that I understood, kissed Eric on the lips, and continued reading.

* * *

_February 28__th__, 2013_

_Sookie_

_I'm doing everything that I can to get you out of my head. I torment myself on a nightly basis watching you with the shifter. I find that it only manages to enrage me. _

_There are things that I have been keeping from you these last few letters. Things that I am not proud of, but I don't regret them either._

_I have been feeding from humans almost exclusively since I have healed from my injury._

_I have also had sex with others._

_The night I first saw you with that fucking shifter, I came back to the bar and found a human female who was willing. I took her to my office. She served her purpose. Pam said she looked like you. I didn't see the resemblance. _

_Pam says that they have all looked like you to some capacity._

_But no one could compare to your beauty, the way that you smell, your taste, your soul, my Sookie. _

_My beloved.

* * *

_

_March 21__st__, 2013_

_Sookie_

_Pam has banned me from the bar until I can promise that I will not break anything else._

_As if I care. _

_Her last straw happened two nights ago. I broke the table at our booth. _

_Pam visited you that evening. When she returned, I questioned her about your well-being. She informed me that you had not been home in days. You had been staying with the fucking shifter._

_I found the closest willing female and took her to my office._

_I want to make this kind of a memory with you in my office, but I fear that time may have passed._

_When I returned to the bar area, she sat with me at our booth. She talked of this and that, and I paid no attention to her… until she mentioned you._

_She had seen me with you in the past, and commented that she was glad that I got rid of that blonde slut who took up my time._

_She ran screaming when my fist split the table in two, and I threw half of it across the room._

_Pam tells me the injuries were minimal, and thanks to a little persuasion, there will be no charges filed. _

_Like I fucking care.

* * *

_

_April 15__th__, 2013_

_Sookie_

_I visited you this evening. You were alone. I stood at the edge of the tree line around your home. I saw you in your room. You looked out the window, and it felt like you were looking right at me._

_I wanted to go to you then. To take you in my arms. Kiss you. Make love to you._

_Take a shower with you._

_I won't be visiting you for a while. It is becoming more difficult. I find that when I see you alone, I can think of nothing but going to you._

_But then I see you with the shifter, and I want to hurt you like you are hurting me. I want to make you feel the way that I feel when I see you with him._

_But I would never do that._

_I know you would never do that either. If you knew I was out there, things would be different._

_I wish that you really had seen me.

* * *

_

I closed the journal and looked up at Eric. "I'm done reading tonight." I said, and looked over at the clock. It was just past three in the morning. "Get up, get dressed." I said, and I got out of bed, and went to my side of the closet to get one of my sun dresses.

"What are you doing?" Eric asked, looked at me puzzled, and still laying in bed. I walked over to him once I had my dress and pulled the covers off him.

"I said get dressed. We're leaving." and smiled at him.

"Where are we going?" he asked as he got out of bed, and headed to his side of the closet.

"Fangtasia. I think it's time we make a new memory." I said, and gave him a wicked grin before I smacked his butt, and headed out to wait for him at the car.


	4. The Shifter Pt 2

**Evening folks!**

**I think this is going to be the last post until Sunday. Christmas is soooo close, and I've got a ton to do still. I'm planning on writing, if only to keep my sanity, every spare moment I get. **

**Please bare with the story, I think it gets pretty dark here for us E+S=Forever folks.**

**Rated M for a reason!  
**

**A/N at the bottom.**

**Charlaine Harris owns the characters and whatnot.**

**Snoogans and Snoochie Boochies!  
**

* * *

The next night, I was on the couch waiting for Eric to get home from the bar. I promised not to read without him. When he got home, he stripped down to his boxers the second he walked in the door, and then sat down on the couch with me.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you tonight, my wife." he said, and laid back on the couch, pulling me on top of him. I blushed a little. He nuzzled his face into my neck and spoke softly, brushing his lips against the sensitive skin just below my ear. "We should do that more often."

"I think that can be arranged." I said, and kissed his exposed neck. That did it for Eric, and before I knew it, my nightgown went flying across the room for the second night in a row, and he was sitting back up so that I was straddling him. He made quick work of his kisses, starting at my neck, and moving down to my breasts. He had his left hand on my lower back, and he moved his right hand between us and started to rub me in just the right spot.

I thought of the previous night, in a similar position on the couch in his office. Except he was sitting properly on the couch, and I was on top of him, taking him into me slowly.

Back on our couch at home, thinking of us from the night before, I was quickly reaching my release. The passion flowing from me to Eric then was fueling his movements, and moments later, I was clutching him to my body, holding on tightly to him like he was the anchor that was keeping me from fainting.

"What were you thinking about Lover?" he said with a smirk as soon as I had gained some sense back, and loosened my grip on him.

"Last night. The couch in your office." I said, and blushed again.

Eric's eyes practically glowed, "Oh, I see. You liked that did you?"

"Yeah." I said, and worked us back into the position we had been in the night before.

"You want that again?" he asked, his eyes darting from my neck to my collar to my breasts, like he was trying to decide where he wanted to kiss me next. He finally settled on my neck.

"Oh yes." I said, and moved my hand between us to position him at my entrance. Just like the night before, I slowly lowered myself down onto him. "Husband, watch me." I said, and that did it for Eric. He couldn't contain himself. He took my hips and thrust into me the rest of the way, and then started to move me on him at a steady pace. Calling him my husband drove him insane sometimes. I loved having that power.

I was reaching my second release, and Eric stopped, and lifted us both off the couch. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he held me to him, and we left the living room.

"What are you doing?" I asked, panting from being on the edge, but not going over. He was getting me back for the husband remark. I nipped his neck as he walked.

"To the office." he said in a growl, and I soon found myself on top of his desk, Eric standing in front of me, between my legs. "Watch me wife." he said as he entered me again. It was painfully slow. I leaned back and braced myself with my hands like I had done the night before when we had moved from the couch to the desk. Eric took my legs and held them at the bend of my knees as he continued to slowly build his pace. Soon, I was back on the golden edge again, I arched my back and was rocking my hips on the desk to meet Eric's thrusts.

Eric dropped one of my legs, and reached out to pull me to him. He whispered "Lover." into my ear, and then bit my neck, never slowing in his movements. I was seeing stars then. I think I screamed, but I'm not sure that any sound actually came out. Eric found his release then as well, and clutched me to him as we rode out our orgasm together.

When we regained our senses, Eric lifted me again, and carried us to the bathroom so that we could shower before getting into bed for the night, and reading the journal.

Once we were in bed, I snuggled to him like I had the night before, and I took the journal from my nightstand.

* * *

_September 7__th__, 2013_

_Sookie_

_I am troubled. I hear from Felipe that you are going to Nevada to work for him. I hear that this will not be your first time going back to him since the ball. _

_After everything that happened the last time you were there, it surprises me in a way to know that you are going back willingly. _

_And I hear the shifter is going with you. Trust that Felipe is not happy about this request, but in an effort to keep you happy and to keep himself in your good graces, he has agreed. He values you to much to lose you. And not just for your talent. He finds you trustworthy. He does not trust many vampires or humans. I am impressed that you have won this from him. Sometimes I think he trusts you more than me._

_But what is troubling me is the reason for your return. Is it for money?_

_Can't the fucking shifter take care of you properly?_

_Yes, I suppose that he can. But I know you. You won't be a kept woman. You make your own way. So strong, my Sookie. _

_But don't you see you would not be a kept woman? Don't you see that I just want to take care of the woman that I love? Make sure that you want for nothing? Share my life with you?_

_Is this what the shifter wants as well? Has he offered this to you? Have you turned him down out of pride in being able to take care of yourself? Or have you turned him down because you don't want him to be the one taking care of you?_

_I pray to the Gods for the latter.

* * *

_

_October 23__rd__, 2013_

_Sookie_

_I laughed tonight. I haven't laughed in some time. Pam came to visit you tonight at your work. She tells me that when she arrived, you were out back arguing with the shifter. Arguing with him about me. He accused you of still being in love with me. _

_Is this true, my Sookie? My beloved?_

_Are you in love with me still? If I came to you, would you finally say the words to me?_

_Have I made the wrong decision in leaving you? _

_No… I have not. You are safer without me. You can live the normal life you want. You can be married according to this countries laws. You can have children. You can grow old together._

_I still love you as much as I did the night I left your home two years ago.

* * *

_

_December 1__st__, 2013_

_Sookie_

_My hearts desire._

_I found myself back in your woods this evening. You were not home. I don't want to think about where you might have been at that late hour. _

_I went into your home. I found myself in your bathroom, staring at your shower. I thought back to our first night together. I thought of the night we went to war with the witches. I thought of waking up in your home the next evening, not remembering what had happened._

_I should have pressed you that night for the details into my stay at your home. I could tell you were upset. But I chose to take care of business. If I had known then what I know now, I wonder what would have happened between us. I wonder how our futures would have changed._

_Would we have still been together? Or were we not meant to be together?_

_We would have been together. I don't see how I would not have fallen in love with you as I am now. It was meant to be. _

_It is best. _

_It is right.

* * *

_

_January 5__th__, 2013_

_Sookie_

_I realize that I don't know what to say to you right now. I don't think I want to write to you this evening after all. It's been to upsetting. I think I will go break something._

_Perhaps I will break the fucking shifters face.

* * *

_

_July 15__th__, 2013_

_My Sookie_

_I just read the last letter I wrote to you. If you notice the date, you will understand what had me so upset, but I think that you need to see it from my perspective. _

_I had sent Pam on her usual monthly visit to your home. She was instructed to stay behind the tree line, however she heard you arguing with the shifter. It was over a pregnancy test he had found in your bathroom. He asked if you were ever going to tell him you were pregnant. You didn't answer him at first, but then said that you were waiting for the right time. You had a doctors appointment scheduled the following week. Pam tells me I don't want to know what happened next._

_She came to me with this news and I was devastated, my love. I had lost you._

_Although I hate that fucking shifter, I know he would not allow you to have a child out of wedlock, and you soon would be married._

_You would belong to someone else. You would be part of a family that didn't include me._

_Thinking of this even now, six months later, I find it hard to continue…_

_But then Pam tells me that she saw you at a gas station two weeks ago, and you weren't pregnant. You didn't have a ring on your finger either._

_She followed you for the next few nights here and there. She finally came to me this evening with this information and tells me that you in fact are not pregnant. You also aren't in a relationship with the shifter anymore._

_The only way that I could be happier than I am right now is if I was actually with you at this moment.

* * *

_

"Oh my God Eric, you knew about that?" I asked.

"I knew. I wish I hadn't, but I knew." he said, and then hugged me to him, and quietly, almost sheepishly asked, "What happened to the baby?"

"I wasn't really pregnant. The test gave me a false reading. I found out the next week when I went to the doctor."

A huge weight seemed to be lifted from him that I hadn't really realized was there. "Did the shifter propose marriage?"

"Yes." I said, and laughed a little. Eric had pretty much hit the nail on the head in his letter. I told him so. "But I didn't want to get married just because we thought I was pregnant. I wasn't in love with him. I don't want to marry someone I'm not in love with. What kind of a family is that for a child?"

"I'm pleased he had enough sense to at least ask. Even if I didn't want it to actually happen. He respected you enough to try to do the right thing."

"I suppose that's true. But I wasn't entirely sure he was in love with me either, really. He thought he was, but I don't think he really actually did love me. Not at that point anyways. That was just before we broke up."

"Did you separate because you weren't pregnant?" he asked.

"No. But I think that it just made us realize that there were more bad moments with us than good at that point. He was still convinced that I was in love with you still. We did nothing but argue most of the time. When we found out I wasn't pregnant, it was like a pass to get out while we both could still at least be friends again, even if it wasn't for a while."

"My love," Eric started after a few minutes, "do you want a family?"

I set the journal down and shifted in bed so that I was straddling Eric. I leaned down and put my lips next to his ear. "We already are a family." I whispered , and Eric grinned from ear to ear before he devoured me.

* * *

**Since I'm going on "Christmas Break", I figured I'd end on a sweet note.**

**Also, there is much to discuss with Sookie and Sam, is there not?  
**

**I think I may have mentioned this in a previous A/N for "Dead Decisions", but if I didn't, well, here ya go.**

**Sookie and Eric were broken up. One of Sookies closest friends is Sam. They work together, they trust each other, CH has even written that they are attracted to each other. (Sam to Sookie more-so than Sookie to Sam)**

**I think that it would almost be a natural progression for them. Even though he's one of the last ones that I would want to see her with, he's close, she trusts him, she's already gotten a little steamy with him in his office anyway.. (ICK!)**

**And for the pregger's scare... to me, Sookie is still somewhat a beginner when it comes to sex with someone who could knock her up. She's gone so long without having to worry about being responsable in that area... there's bound to be a mistake or accident along the line somewhere.**

**But don't worry, I would never actually impregnate Sookie with anyone but Eric (if it were actually possible) unless they used a donor or something to start a family, but I don't think that I would ever go there in a story. Although I have read a VERY enjoyable one once where they had children.  
**

**Anywho, I needed something to shake Eric really to his core, and to me, Eric thinking that he's lost her because she's having a family with someone else (aside from Sookie dying maybe) would do that to him. I don't think he would ever try to break up her family just for his own desire to be with her again. So it would be like a death sentence to him for them ever getting back together.  
**

**Hope you didn't all go run screaming.**

**E+S=FOREVER**

**Happy Holidays everyone! See ya'll on Sunday!  
**


	5. Je Vous Adore

**Hey everyone! Hope ya'll had a Merry Christmas. I know I did. Although I asked for a big, blonde, blue-eyed Viking, and I didn't get one.**

**But I did get a TARDIS (minus a Doctor) but it's still awesome. It's like 6ft, and it's a wardrobe, but "can be used as tent" so that's what I did with it last night, and I sat in it while I watched the Doctor Who Christmas Special. (Which was EPIC! Aside from the fact that us here in the US actually GOT to see it Christmas Day instead of JULY!) I was like a kid on Christmas. It was silly, but I had fun. All my nerd friends want to come play in it to, so I don't feel to silly.**

**Anywho, so as promised, here is another update. I've been writing for a good part of the day, and I'm gonna keep writing tonight until I absolutely have to go to bed, because work tomorrow is gonna be crap and I want to get some rest.**

**Charlaine Harris owns the characters and whatnot. I'm just borrowing.**

**Snoogans and Snoochie Boochies!  
**

* * *

The next evening, I was awake before Eric was. I decided to make sure he woke up his favorite way. It was another thing that I didn't do often to keep special, and this seemed like a good time. He had been a little sad after what we had managed to read the night before. This would cheer him up for sure.

I stripped off my nightgown, then straddled him. I started to place soft kisses around his neck, and work my way down. I was sending a lot of lust his way, and even though he was asleep, I knew that our bond was strong enough now that he could really feel it. His arousal was soon making itself known against my stomach as I slid down his body, still planting soft little kisses as I went. He moaned a little. Good, he knew I was there for sure. He would be waking any moment.

I got to my destination, and slid his boxers off. I took his length in my hands and slowly started to move them up and down. When he was at full attention, I took him into my mouth. I hadn't noticed that he had woken until I heard him say my name, and reach down for me. I stopped what I was doing, and he hissed.

"Good evening honey." I said with a little smirk. Eric just growled, and bucked his hips to signal me to continue, so I did. I got him just to the edge, and he was practically convulsing. I stopped then, and leapt off the end of the bed, and headed to the shower. Eric followed.

He found me as I was stepping into the shower, and he followed. I tried to play innocent, and taken an honest shower, even though that wasn't what I really wanted to be doing, but it was funny watching Eric try to fumble with me, while I just went about taking my shower.

He finally had enough, and while I had my back turned to him, he pulled me to him, and reached a hand down between my legs. His other hand was holding me by my stomach, pushed up against him. He was rubbing me between my legs just the right way, and before I knew it, my back was arching against him, and my legs were giving out, and Eric stopped, and stepped out of the shower. I slid down the shower wall in to a quivering mass on the shower floor. Once I regained my ability to walk, I got out of the shower, dried off, and found Eric back in bed.

His eyebrow arched and the smirk he was trying very hard to keep off his face peeked out, and I took a running leap towards him on the bed. He caught me mid air, flipped us over, and I found myself pinned beneath him.

"Good evening Lover." he said as he lowered himself a little so that his body was pressed just enough against mine that I was pinned down, but not smushed. I wrapped my legs around his waist, opening myself to him, and he took the hint, and moved forward, filling me.

"I love waking up to you like this Lover." he said as our bodies moved each other closer to our happy ending.

"I love waking you up like that husband." I said, and he shuddered in a very good way. After that, he sped up. I was going to be sore, but I didn't care. It was going to be worth it.

As my good minute came, I wrapped my arms around his neck to hold on while I rode out the waves of pleasure. Eric was close behind, and as he was about to have his, he bit into my neck, which sent another strong wave through me. I was forgetting to breathe again, and Eric had to remind me.

Once we had both recovered some, Eric laid next to me, and pulled me to him. I was still shuddering some, and he held me tight while I calmed down.

"What time do you have to leave for the bar tonight?" I asked once we were both settled.

"I don't. Pam will be watching it for the next few days. She is capable."

"Did you tell Pam her step-mother says hello?" I asked, knowing that Pam hated it when I called her that. Eric loved to remind her that I was, in a way, a step-mother to her, since she was his "child", and I was his wife. Eric loved telling Pam to mind her step-mother because it irritated her so, and he loved having something to tease her with.

"Yes. She hung up on me." Eric said, and laughed hard, from his gut. I did the same. I loved that I had something to irritate Pam with too.

"Do you want to read more?" I asked once we had both settled again.

"If that's what you want to do, yes."

"Good. You want to light a fire and snuggle on the couch while we read?"

Eric didn't respond verbally, but instead gave me a kiss on the forehead, pulled on his boxers, and headed to the living room.

I cleaned up a bit in the bathroom, put on a pair of panties, and dug around in Eric's side of the closet for his "Fangtasia" shirt before I headed out to join him, journal in hand.

"When you look like that, I don't want to do anything but make love to you my wife." Eric said as I walked into the living room.

He had a seat on the couch and wrapped a blanket around him, and held it open for me. I sat next to him and snuggled up to him and he closed the blanket and his arms around us. I positioned myself so that my hands were above the edge of the blanket, and opened up to where we had left off.

* * *

_September 30__th__, 2013_

_My Sookie,_

_I came to visit you this evening. You are watching your nephew Hunter this week it seems. He adores you. I'm not surprised. Everyone who meets you does. _

_Well, everyone except for Lorena, or Debbie Pelt I suppose. _

_But anyone who knows you, I don't think that they could help but adore you._

_As I did the moment I met you._

_Do you remember our first conversation my love? You introduced yourself to me. Your voice was that of an angel. I commented that you were sweet. You replied "Not especially.". _

_I adored you at that very moment.

* * *

_

_November 10__th__, 2013_

_My Sookie,_

_I am in Nevada. I just received word from Felipe that you will be joining us here tomorrow evening. I have asked that he not inform you of my presence. I had to give him some detail into my reasoning for this, and he eventually agreed. I did arrange to be in the room next to yours however. It will be the closest that we have been in quite some time._

_I find that I am nervous and anxious for this. Dawn is approaching, and sleep is starting to take hold of me, but I have never felt so alive right now at the thought of you being so close. _

_I want to make sure you are well in Nevada. I have no doubt that Felipe treats you well. But I must confirm this for myself._

_Until tomorrow, my Sookie.

* * *

_

_November 11__th__, 2013_

_My Sookie,_

_I awoke this evening to the most beautiful sound. You were laughing. I could hear you through the wall. _

_And then I heard a man laughing with you._

_You both stopped laughing when I threw the nightstand in my room and it shattered against the far wall._

_You are MINE! You should be MINE! _

_I could not bear to be around you this evening. I left the hotel, and returned just before dawn. I gave myself enough time to write to you. Who are you with, my love? I think perhaps this was a bad idea.

* * *

_

_November 12__th__, 2013_

_My Sookie,_

_When I awoke this evening, I could hear you again. You were on the phone with Pam. You didn't ask about me._

_Then the man who was with you the night before returned. You called him Richard. He took you to see Felipe, and then you both went to dinner, and then dancing at some horrific club._

_I did not enjoy seeing him touch you. It took everything I had not to smash his face then and there on the dance floor._

_But I noticed something my Sookie. You seem to be nothing more than friends. _

_And then I think that you saw me. You looked me right in the eyes. I felt my body betray me, and I moved a step closer to you then. You squinted as if trying to decide it was truly me you saw. I am thankful for the club at that moment. It was dark, there were flashing lights, it was loud. You could not clearly see me. I fled back to the hotel before you had a chance to find me._

_I followed you back to the hotel. He went to your room with you. You talked about me. You mentioned that you thought you saw me at the club. _

_You talked about how you had once broken my heart, and how I had broken your heart. You said that you suspected that I left you to keep you safe from the upcoming trouble. But that when it had passed, and I didn't return, you thought that I had forgotten you, just like you said I would at some point._

_When you saw me at the club tonight, you figured that you were just hallucinating me._

_Richard told you to just suck it up and go to me._

_I think I like this Richard._

_He left before dawn. You retired for the evening, and fell asleep quickly. I laid in bed and listened to you sleeping. You were dreaming about me again. You whispered my name.

* * *

_

"I knew it was you." I said as I looked up at Eric. "I knew it. I started to walk to you, but someone walked in front of me, and then you were gone."

"I almost went to you then." he said.

"I'm glad you didn't. I don't know that things would have turned out the same if you had."

"Perhaps." he said, and kissed the top of my head.

"So, you knew about Richard before the Summit too. You knew we weren't dating. Why did you freak out about it when you saw me with him again?"

"Things change. But looking back now, I think I was just jealous."

"Jealous?" I said, and sat up so that I could face him. It was probably one of the most shocking things I had ever heard come out of Eric Northman. "Jealous?" I said, and giggled a little. "You had nothing to be jealous of. You knew that you didn't."

"You may not have been together, but I was jealous none the less. He got to hold you, to comfort you, to escort you around as his. Enjoy time with you. Lay in bed with you. He had you. I did not."

I pulled myself into Eric's lap so that he was cradling me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him tenderly. "That's sweet you know. I'm sorry you felt that way, but it's sweet." I said, and kissed him again. I rested my head on his shoulder, and Eric re-positioned the blanket so that we were wrapped back up in it again.

"Did you ever…" he started to say, but I stopped him.

"Nope. Richard and I were just friends."

He sent me some reassuring feelings through our bond with his next statement. "I wouldn't be upset if you did. We were not together."

"Eric, I promise you, nothing ever happened with us."

"Good."

"Shall we continue?" I asked. He nodded for me to proceed.


	6. To Boldly Go

**One last one for the night. Hot off the presses.**

**Snoogans and Snoochie Boochies!  
**

_

* * *

March 14th, 2014_

_My Beloved,_

_I came to your home this evening. I watched you come home from work, and I watched you scurry around your home getting ready for what I now know was a date with some sort of shifter. I did not recognize him. He came and picked you up in his truck, then took you to dinner, a movie, and then back to your home. He tried to kiss you when he walked you to your door. I was happy to see that you turned him away._

_Perhaps it was because he was not creative enough for your date._

_I realize that we have not been on a proper date my Beloved. _

_I would come to pick you up from your home. You would be wearing that dress you wore the first time I saw you at Fangtasia._

_I would take you to a field somewhere secluded. There would be a blanket laid out and foods that you enjoy. We would lounge under the stars together. Your hair would shimmer in the moonlight._

_I would find you irresistible, as I always do. I would have you there, under the stars._

_When I took you home, you would kiss me goodnight.

* * *

_

"We still never went on a proper date you know." I said, and smiled up at him.

"We are a bit past a date, don't you think?" he said, smiling back down at me.

"Married couples go on dates all the time. Just because we're married doesn't mean you don't have to woo me anymore." I said, and nuzzled my face into his neck.

"Well, if you require "wooing", then that is what you will get. Would you like to go on the date I thought of for us?" he asked.

I raised my head up to look at him. "Oh yes I would." I said before I kissed him, and continued reading.

* * *

_May 4th__, 2014_

_My Beloved,_

_I spoke with Felipe this evening. There is to be a Summit this November. You will be there, as will I. I won't be able to hide from you this time. I don't know that I will be able to resist you, my love. _

_I also hear that there will be a trial for Victor. Felipe tells me that you have been asked to testify against Victor. He is doing what he can to keep you from having to do that. We both agreed to keep you from it if at all possible._

_Speaking with Felipe about Madden had me thinking back to that time. When we went to the ball, when you nearly lost your life._

_I thought about turning you then. When you were in the hospital. You had just come out of surgery. You were not doing well. You nearly the next day. The doctor told me that your heart had stopped beating. They were almost unable to revive you._

_I struggled the next week with the thought of turning you. You would hate me at first. It would be going against your wishes. But the thought of losing you, never being able to touch you, kiss you, talk to you, smell you, make love to you… I could not bear that thought then. Not like that. _

_I fed you blood each night before I slept for the day in the hopes that it would keep you alive during the day. I did not want you to die during the day, when I would not have a chance to be by your side, with the chance to turn you should you fade._

_I am glad that it did not get to that point. I will be sad when you leave this world, my Beloved, but if it is after you have lived a proper and long life, I will accept it.

* * *

_

"I almost died?" I said, and put the journal down. No one had ever told me that particular event had happened. I knew I had a rough time of it the first few days, but I didn't get the details.

"Yes." Eric said, and hugged me to him. I could feel the worry and the fear rolling through us.

"That's when you decided, wasn't it." I asked. Eric raised an eyebrow in question. "When you decided that I would be better off without you in my life."

"Yes. But when you woke, I was so relieved, I couldn't bring myself to do it at first. I decided to spend one last perfect week with you. Now, I see that it was just time wasted between us."

"No, I don't think so. There was some big bad coming. It was better for you, and for me, to be apart then."

"I should have fought for you, not pushed you away."

"No, because you would have been distracted by me. Even though it seems now that I was still a distraction." I said, and smiled up at him. "And I think it gave us a chance to connect in Nevada at the Summit that we may have never gotten to do had we stayed together. I acted childish at first, but old habits die hard I guess. You weren't very mature about it at first either, but in the end, I think that we had both gotten to a point where we needed to just lay everything out, and see if we came out on top."

"Did you doubt that we would?"

"No. But we had a talk that was _long_ overdue, and I'm not a hundred percent that it would have happened without our time apart. It would have just kept getting put off. We would still have unresolved issues."

"And if you had it to do again?"

"I would never have let you leave that night. I would have forced our talk then. I would have moved in here with you. I would have bonded with you, and married you."

"I would do the same."

* * *

_July 17__th__, 2014_

_My Beloved,_

_Pam went to see you the other evening. She says you "chatted like best girlfriends". She tells me you told her of the shifters proposal to you. I didn't want to hear of it, but she insisted that I would find it comical._

_She tells me that it happened two days or so after he discovered your pregnancy test, from what she could gather. You were working your shift at the bar, and the shifter came in. He got down on one knee there in front of you, and everyone else in the bar. He made it obvious that you two were expecting, and that he had wanted to do this for some time, but until now, had not found the right opportunity. He asked you to marry him right there, in front of your entire town practically, Pam tells me._

_You smacked him and stormed out the back door._

_Oh, my Sookie. Pam was right, I laughed. He does not know you as I do. I can see that. You would not want such a public display. You would not want your business put out there for others to see like that._

_I would have done it different. If what you wished from me was a human marriage, I would give it to you. _

_I know you would not want the lavish ring that you deserve. I would find you something simple. We would be at your home, in front of your fireplace. Of all my memories of us together, I am most fond of the time that we spent in front of your fireplace when I was cursed. I would hold you to me, I would tell you what you truly mean to me. I would give you my heart. I would be yours.

* * *

_

_August 20__th__, 2014_

_My Beloved,_

_I was in Nevada these last two weeks. I got a chance to see Madden. Felipe is still torturing him. I got a chance to exact some revenge upon him. I took it. For us. I won't go into detail, but I can tell you that he would not forget that I had been to see him._

_We went to the location Felipe had chosen for the Summit. I found that there was some strange event going on in the hotel next door. It was a human summit. I found myself distracted, and excused myself from the group to investigate._

_Would you believe that I came upon a convention for Star Trek? There must have been a few thousand humans there, and a few vampires._

_I remember when that show was first on television. It was fascinating to think of a time when there would be no prejudice. No famine, no want for anything. Global peace. It was inspiring. I have lived a thousand years, and have seen many horrible things._

_Mr. Roddenberry had a wonderful vision._

_I look forward to seeing his vision coming true.

* * *

_

I was dying in a fit of laughter. I couldn't believe what I had just read. Eric seemed a little embarrassed, and I instantly felt guilty.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry honey. I just, picturing you at the convention. You know they hold it there every year in August. Richard is a fan. He took me once while the year before."

"You don't like the show?" Eric asked.

"Jason and I used to watch reruns of it sometimes. He likes it. I never really got into it. The message is great, but it just wasn't my cup of tea I guess."

"I enjoyed Captain Kirk the most. I only ever watched the original series that Roddenberry wrote."

"You would like Kirk." I said, and elbowed him. I may not have been a fan of the show, but I was well aware of Kirk's reputation. Space cowboy. Lover of women, regardless of race, or species.

* * *

_October 29__th__, 2014_

_My Beloved,_

_In a few short days we will be reunited. I am anxious to be near you, to see you, to speak with you._

_We will be on the plane together. I will be sleeping when we leave Louisiana, but before we get to Nevada, I will rise. We will have a chance to be alone._

_I can only hope that your feelings for me have not wavered. I think perhaps they have not. Will you give in to them my Beloved?_

_I know you will. You may not at first, because the decision must be your own. You must be sure of it. But before the Summit is over, you will be mine once more.

* * *

_**Haha! That's right, I totally made Eric a Star Trek fan.**

**And outed myself as one. I know about that convention very well, because I've gone to it the last six years. It's my annual vacation with the other bestie. We are TOTALLY Star Trek geeks.**

**I would like to think of Eric as one as well, because if I ever DO get him for Christmas, I fantasize (among other things) that we would totally nerd out and watch Star Trek and Doctor Who together. And he would totally go with me to the convention. hahahaha!**

**And maybe we could do a little Doctor/Companion role playing every now and then. ;)**

**BTW, the NEXT entry will be the last for Letters to Sookie. Stay tuned for more side stories!  
**


	7. Viva Las Vegas

**Evening everyone.**

**Here is the final chapter. **

**There is a lot of tie-in with "Dead Decisions", my other story on here. If you pick up on that one where Sook is going back to Vegas and see's Eric for the first time in three years, you can pretty much follow along with this. But it's not necessary I guess.  
**

**Thinking next will be Eric's two weeks that he was away from Sookie at the beginning of my other story Dead Decisions.**

**I liked taking Eric out for a spin.**

**But that will probably be a few weeks before that gets started on here.**

**Have a great New Years everyone! Be safe!**

**Snoogans and Snoochie Boochies!  
**

_

* * *

November 1__st__, 2014_

_My Beloved,_

_It will be dawn soon. I will sleep for the day, and when I awake, I will be with you again. _

_If it were possible for my heart to beat, it would be bounding from my chest at this moment. I_

_laid in bed half the night wishing for dawn. The sooner the day comes, the sooner it will leave, and we will be together.

* * *

_

_November 2__nd__, 2014_

_My Beloved,_

_Oh my little bull-shitter. How clever you think you are. You act as if I don't know you at all. _

_But I know you, my Sookie. You act cool an calm on the outside, but do you forget I am vampire? I can hear your heart racing. I can see your chest rising and falling faster with your increased breathing. I can smell… _

_When I awoke and found you alone on the plane, and saw how nervous you were to see me, I resolved then to let you come to me. It must be your decision. I will not do anything to push you away from me this time. I will be open to you if you need me. _

_It will be tough for you in the upcoming days. I will not put any unneeded pressure on you during this time. You don't yet know that Victor's trial awaits. I would warn you of this now, but I fear that it will take away your natural reaction when Felipe speaks with you about this. But do not doubt that I will be there for you when you do know. I will be there as your anchor if you need. I know you are strong, my Sookie. But if you let me, I can be strong for us both. You can let go._

_Now, as for our reunion of sorts. I find it quite comical that you turn to alcohol this evening. I half expected another voice-mail on my phone from you. _

_I still have the first one saved._

_As for your return to your room this evening… I hope you enjoyed reading my note as much as I enjoyed writing it._

_I did not try to get you naked for any dishonorable reason. I did not put you in bed intending to join you in it. Even if you had suggested, I would have respectfully declined. I may push the lines with you sometimes my Sookie, and I may bend it to my will, but I never cross it. I will not take advantage of you._

_Even if you kiss me against my will.

* * *

_

I sat up out of bed with a start. "What? Kissed you against your will?" I asked, quite confused. I didn't kiss him… did I?

If Eric needed to breathe, he would be suffocating right now he was laughing so hard. I sat the journal down and turned to face him. "I didn't kiss you!"

"Oh Sookie…" he started, then laughed again, "you don't remember?"… more laughter.

"Eric, what are you talking about. I don't remember. I hardly remember that night as it is." I said, and crossed my arms in front of me and pouted a little.

Eric finally got hold of himself. "I laid you in bed. I gave you medication and a glass of water. I propped you up so you would be comfortable. You were saying something about the room spinning. I got you tucked in, and you thanked me. I had been leaning over you adjusting the bedding and pillows, and you reached your arms up and pulled me to you, and then you kissed me."

I was thinking back to that evening. I remembered that he helped me into my room, and into bed, but the last think I remembered was thanking him. I shook my head that it wasn't ringing any bells.

"Here, let me demonstrate." he said, and before I knew it, he had pulled me on top of him. My face was hovering over his. We gazed into each others eyes and I smiled at him. He placed his hands against my cheeks, and pulled me to his lips. He gave me a gentle kiss. It was a sweet kiss. It lasted just a moment or two, and then I was back to hovering, and we were gazing into each others eyes again.

"Oh." I said.

"You sent a shiver through me then. I stayed with you for some time that evening, to make sure you didn't wake and need assistance. I left your room with just enough time to write to you before dawn came."

I stayed laying on top of Eric. I rested my head on his silent chest. "I love you." I said finally, and looked up at him. I placed a soft kiss on his lips. I broke away, and Eric leaned up to me to continue the kiss. It was gentle and sweet again. He hugged me to his body, and then rolled us over so that he was on top of me, never breaking our kiss.

He rested the majority of his weight on his elbows on either side of me, but left enough of his weight on me so that I felt secure beneath him. Just how he knew I liked.

We continued like that for a while. He eventually moved from my lips, and then worked his way down my jaw, and to my neck. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and let my hands glide over his sides, then up to his back, up to his neck, and tangle themselves in his hair.

Eric nipped my skin with his fangs, and I gripped his hair a little tighter in my hands and let out a soft moan. I was glad I only had a nightshirt on. It was easily discarded, along with Eric's boxers.

He dipped a finger into me to make sure I was ready for him. I was. He wasted no time in entering me, filling me. He did it slowly. I gasped when he filled me completely.

Our foreheads met, and our lips hovered over each others as we slowly rocked together. We stayed like that, foreheads touching, rocking together. We would nip and lick and suck at each other, and we would kiss.

The pace gradually picked up. I was breathing heavily. Eric was growling above me. Our eyes stayed locked as we came together. He shuddered above, and I shuddered below as we clung to each other until we had both regained ourselves. Eric moved to my side, and I cuddled back up to him.

* * *

_November 3__rd__, 2014_

_My Beloved,_

_I apologize for my actions this evening._

_I know you are not with Richard, but seeing the two of you together in Felipe's room did things to me. Set off a rage I have not felt since the shifter. _

_I know I told you I would let you come to me. I'm not sure what came over me. I wanted to make you mine again. I should not have forced you to kiss me against your will._

_But don't think I didn't notice your heart racing. _

_And I noticed when you started to give yourself to me. Begin to fold your body to mine._

_I noticed.

* * *

_

_November 4__th__, 2014_

_My Beloved,_

_I was waiting for you by your door tonight. When Felipe asked to speak with you alone, I knew what was coming for you._

_I wanted to be there when you returned. I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to be strong for you._

_You will do fine at the trial. You are strong. You don't need me to be strong for you Sookie. You are the bravest human I have met._

_Holding you tonight. Feeling your soft skin. Smelling your hair. Your body tightly curled into mine. I will sleep well this day._

_And you are my little bull-shitter again tonight. You were jealous. _

_I loved it.

* * *

_

"If you hadn't been at my door that night, I would have come to yours." I said as I sat the journal down and looked up at Eric.

"I'm glad that I could be there for you." Eric said, and kissed the top of my head. I hugged myself to him for a while before I continued reading.

* * *

_November 5__th__, 2014_

_My Beloved,_

_I saw him kiss you tonight. At the Summit. It was… disturbing.

* * *

_

"It was a kiss on the cheek for heavens sake." I said, and giggled a little. He rolled his eyes at me, but gave me a hint of a smile. "And you knew that we were just friends."

"But that doesn't mean that I don't mind seeing another man put his hands or lips on you, in any fashion."

"Were you jealous?" I asked, and smirked a little.

"No." he said, and pulled me closer to him.

"That's what I thought." I said, and continued reading.

* * *

_November 5__th__, 2014_

_My Beloved,_

_You just left my room. You told me everything. You were completely honest and open with me. I find that I am a bit nervous to go to you and do the same. _

_Before I do go to you, and trust that I am, and that you will be mine again, I had to write to you one last time. If things do not turn out in our favor, I want you to know this:_

_I love you, Sookie Stackhouse. With everything that I am._

_Always._

_~E_


End file.
